Iam lucky or GOD love me?

I dont believe i was almost DEAD .Last saturday night i was alone in my room.Dont know how maybe iam just too depress,i cannot find any other way to relax myself. Then i come up to the conclusion to drink the whole 2 bottles of cough syrup.It may be sound crazy.But it happen.Laying on  the bed and feeling high.Its indeed awesome.I enjoy it.Slowly i fall into sleep.The clock shown 11 pm.Suddenly at 1 am i woke up.Sweating over my body,heart racing like hell,my stomach felt want to burst and head spinning freaking hell.My body felt sooo hot.I can still remember how miserable i was that time.I think iam gonna die that night.Repeatly,I rush to the washroom to wash my face,arm and head to cool down my body temperature.I force myself to vomit but cant. Iam coming back and forth from my bed to washroom several times and finally fall into sleep.The next day,iam preety sure i just spending about 2 or 3 hours waking up and the rest hours i slept.Too sleepy.Sometimes i heard my roomate nagging at me cause spent much time to sleep.Well i dont care.I want to rest.The next day.I woke up and realize my wrong doing  will lead myself  to die.Drinking the whole 2 bottles of cough syrup is not funny.But iam still here alive and continue living maybe just because of luck?Idont know.But it quite enjoyable.I love it.Perhaps next time i will do it again. And maybe next time it can be fatal.Well i dont care,that was what iam hopping for anyway.Dead!